I went to dig for photos that I never posted online to keep this space colorful.I just saw my mother crying............. And an overwhelming amount of emotions came flooding.
She came home and it was already 1, so of course, I asked "where did you go?"
She came home and it was already 1, so of course, I asked "where did you go?"And what she said caught me off guard. She said "do you really care how I feel inside? or you just want me to be home even though my heart may not be here."
I was shocked. I was stuck. I was stunned. I really didn't know how to reply! Genuinely. I wanted to know, she was okay, she was home, she was safe. I just needed some sort of reassurance. Perhaps it's been a hard day on us so it fired up and there was a quarrel. After a while, I held her hand, it was so cold, it was trembling. I look at her face, I look into her eyes. I could see, she's aging so gracefully but her eyes are in fear of losing me. She was so desperate to know that I ain't leaving her, she was so desperate to see this part of me that's not growing apart from her.
And this when it dawned on me.
And this when it dawned on me. My friends weren't the one that were there when I was locked up. It was my mother that came rushing down even though how much her heart is aching and how much her mind is telling her not to care for this useless daughter now. My friends only called or texted me to ask if i'm okay when they saw me tweeting about sad things. My mother called just cos she felt something was wrong with me. My friends are the ones that are there when there were parties there was booze there were pretty girls or hot boys. My mother watched me from the small baby, cleaning after me when I messed up. She was there in every major part of my life. She was there in the minors too.
But many a times, i put my friends before family. And now, I'll try to change that. Today was a turning point, a lesson learnt.
And although many of us say that friends are siblings that are chosen. I'd wanna add that no matter how much we protest, deep inside, we all know we love our family though how annoying, childish or silly they are. And we all know, they are the ones that we can fall back on.
But many a times, i put my friends before family. And now, I'll try to change that. Today was a turning point, a lesson learnt.
And although many of us say that friends are siblings that are chosen. I'd wanna add that no matter how much we protest, deep inside, we all know we love our family though how annoying, childish or silly they are. And we all know, they are the ones that we can fall back on.Goodnight my dear readers. I'll hope to see some formsprings tomorrow if I get the time.
Plz sleep early too y'all. Photos tomorrow since I'm gonna be hair model. :)
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